The Seven Values
Refinement of Character –
The Second of the Seven Values of the Everything
Basically, to refine your character means that you are gradually molding, resculpting, and dearmoring it into a perfect model of everything that it can be emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and sexually. It is simply the way you choose to willfully engage with life. These Values become part of your principles. They are of value to you, so you dedicate yourself with self-devotion to make sure they are a part of every experience that you engage with. They are always present, and when they are present, alive and well in your life, you never take your life experiences to be your life.
One of the most critical qualities of a refined, mature character is respect, particularly self-respect. So I am going to devote this Elder Wisdom to talk about respect as it pertains to the refinement of character. According to the Elder Grandmother and my benefactor, Marsha IronKettle, the key to refinement of character lies in our “intent with respect.” She presented me with an equation:
respectful intentions +
knowledge/concepts = self-respect
She defines concepts as factual, fact-based knowledge that can be validated or replicated by others and anchored not only within Sacred Law but within universal truth.
So what does this mean? Let’s look at respectful intentions within relationships. Interaction and confrontation with others is necessary for growth, change, and evolution, certainly for refinement of our character. As you know, an empowered interaction or engagement requires that both parties clearly declare our intents. From within that we can both be confrontational and not engage in conflict. We now have respectful intent towards each other, willing to listen, really hearing each other, and respecting our differences. We can agree to disagree, and confronting with our concepts (i.e., our factual knowledge that works), we can entertain the possibility of changing our attitude and approach to reality. Our perceptions shift and we have the opportunity to see an approach we didn’t have before. We can respect each other rather than enter into conflict or outright war. Self-respect is a product of that interaction.
Your measure of self-respect determines the extent to which you can authentically and naturally express your individuality. When you do a self-assessment you must accept the fact that you are totally responsible for any and all actions you take. You must, therefore, assume authority for those actions, but you can stand spiritually accountable only if you are standing inside the circle of self-respect. You have the absolute right to choose to do anything you wish with your life, your physical body, and your dream. That can include being an alcoholic or a drug addict, choosing to smoke or not, insisting on having your way (distinguish between having your way and doing it your way), going to college, working a path with heart, getting married and having children, being a spendthrift, and so forth. However, you have self-respect only when you are standing spiritually accountable for the impact your actions and decisions have on yourself, life, and others.
Let’s take addiction. There is no such thing as an addictive substance on this planet. People make a choice to become so attached to a substance that they deliberately misuse it to the point of destroying their health and causing their death. And they have a right to do that. Everyone is going to die. You choose the way you die by the way you live except for the 20% law of chance. Therefore, your measure of self-respect has to be, and in fact is, predicated upon whether or not your choices and decisions allow you to gain wisdom and character and touch others with your beauty and individuality. And you do that only to the extent you have inner self-respect. You don’t have one without the other.
The Wheel of Self-Respect
We can perhaps better understand the many and varied aspects of respect by taking a look at this wheel. This is a very brief summary of a much longer and more in-depth teaching. Nonetheless, this introduction provides you with enough information to begin to work the wheel for your own growth and refinement of character.
South – Emotionally creative respect. You know you must give from your heart. When the Elders speak that way they don’t mean from the heart chakra. They mean from the 1-point, strong heart. Give your full measure, your “shining” as my grandma always called it. It’s your responsibility to put yourself fully into interaction with others in a way that always lets your emotional creativity shine through. It is volunteering to chop wood and carry water and care for the children. You have proper emotional creative respect when you can take on the mundane, unpleasant jobs and the everyday things that have to be done without bitching, moaning, and whining. That’s very difficult is it not? Frequently we give away this respect through neediness. Give me, give me, give me.
Southwest – Centering dream respect (also called alignment dream respect). This is where you develop a lifestyle of self-respect and your level of self-respect will be evident here in your daily life situational experiences and process. It will support or sabotage your day-to-day process and the dreaming you are trying to actualize. In a relationship, you don’t get in the way of your partner’s dream. You support your partner’s hungers, their needs, will, and desires, not belittle them or try to stop them. A very important part of this respect is your ability to accept when you have done something wrong. The conflict between license and freedom gets acted out here. You give away this respect when you assume you have the right to do whatever you want regardless of whether or not you walk over the top of somebody. In every wheel there is a breaker. This is it for this wheel. If you lose this respect, you are working with chaotic respect across the wheel. Chaos will appear to be present in your life when it’s not.
West – Tonal acceptance respect. This is the place of tonal material goods, reality needs, desires, and all fifteen faces of wealth. This respect allows you to accept your reality exactly as it is. If you can’t accept reality as it is, you will never change it. You are comfortable, at peace with wherever you are in the tonal world. You are not at the impact effect of your tonal world. Furthermore, you are willing to accept your present tonal situation but don’t accept it as a limitation. You know you can accomplish whatever you desire by your own hard work and determination. So the bottom line of this respect is you take care of your needs by yourself with accountability and you don’t depend on anyone else to do it for you.
Northwest – Timing respect. This is where you develop confidence and courage to run a pattern that is productive and procreative. You aren’t caught in the psychological addiction of past and future time references. You respect whatever pattern is present and look for a way to make it better. This is where a person has enough respect to ask for a raise at the right timing. It’s the end result of a prioritization and choreography choice in knowing when to do something. In a sense, it is the when respect. It’s very, very deep in the unconscious to know when your higher self has met your lower self and says NOW. And you just do it. Decisive action is another name for this respect. This respect also engenders realistic optimism. You can be defeated a thousand times but you will persevere and ultimately succeed.
North – Maturity or maturational respect. This respect is an accumulation of everything on this wheel from the south all the way around and dumped into one’s sense of presence and stature. You take responsibility for your own self-deservement and, with good timing, you put your confidence and courage into the world. The Elders say this is the place of brilliance, excellence, and mastery. Any time you engage with the Values, especially refinement of character, you are inside this respect. You will recognize this respect when you are comfortable without fitting in and belonging and feel no necessity to be politically correct. You can function at different levels and classes of society. You can be with without fitting in. You can belong without conforming. You are listened to and heard. This is actually where you get respect from others. To get respect from others it has to be earned not given.
Northeast – Chaos respect. You respect chaos as a necessary piece of evolutionary self-growth and development. Therefore, you never resist it. Think about how often when your world gets chaotic with a lot of changes, you may immediately say, “There’s nothing I can do about this.” “It’s an untenable situation.” “I’m in pain.” “I don’t know why in the world I chose this.” We make up alibis and go into denial about the fact that we have given away our chaotic respect. Chaotic respect means you know how to relax and focus and you don’t go into guilt, blame, shame, and the other blocks to character, especially resistance, whenever chaos is present. You are prepared for it. On the other hand, when you restrict your raw power naturalness and when your internal self-respect diminishes, you lose your 1-point, you don’t know what to do about it, and you feel hopeless. You have just given away your chaotic respect.
East – Wisdom respect. To be inside this respect you must understand and accept all your strengths and weaknesses, your talents, skills, and abilities. As Clint Eastwood said in the movie Dirty Harry, “You’ve got to know your limitations.” However, accepting doesn’t mean settling with them. In many ways wisdom respect is the ability to make changes because you have the spiritual determination to do so. Without this a person will not dedicate themselves to the light or seek a vision. You won’t dream the impossible dream and seek enlightenment. You become a believer. Within this respect you will express your individuality and autonomy and gain liberty and freedom, because the ultimate liberty and freedom, of course, is the enlightenment of resurrection. Obviously this is a very high level of respect that few people ever reach. But it is one you should always aspire to. It is an aspiration to seek inspiration and motivation to have the will to do and the willingness to engage.
Southeast – Dignity respect. This is the respect of honesty and integrity in all your actions as you express your individuality. The Elders quite bluntly say this respect triggers all the others on the wheel. You must maintain and sustain your dignity. The extent to which you have dignity respect is the extent to which you can express your individuality in the world, make your ripple in the matrix, and not cheat the universe of your genius. You enter into the physical with dignity respect and hopefully you are able to leave with dignity respect in your spirit personality. Anyone who has totally conquered a severe addiction has dignity respect. Sense of self is key here. Body image, self image, sacred image, genital sense of self are expressed inside your individuality and consequently are a part of dignity respect.
Center – Measured respect. This is not just in a given incarnated body or even in the current cycling spirit personality. It is contained within the heart of your 5th, 6th, and 7th energy mind bodies, your dancers. It is carried in the four faces of the feminine and masculine presence. The Elders say we mask dance until we are willing to look into the mirror of self-reflection, and we keep looking into that and reflecting out of that until we are finally willing to look into the mirror of self. That’s where we get our measured respect. We are immortal and carry the potential of a goddess/god within. The ease or dis-ease of your incarnating learnings is directly contained within the measured respect. All of your evolution is. This is where the Great Spirit’s free will is trying to connect with our free will so that Infinity can and will guide our intent. It wants us to become a healthy cell and a part of the solutions if we are going to have a human Fifth World.